10 things I won’t miss about Munich

I love Munich, so writing negative things about the place is difficult, but nowhere is perfect and some things can bug a person after a while. Some things you get used to, many of the things listed below, don’t bother me much anymore, in fact they can add to the charm of the place as you laugh off a lot of things or a few choice words in the local lingo can do wonders for you, even if they have no effect on the other person, it makes you feel good. But as I’m leaving, a few things I won’t miss about this city may make the break easier!

1. Dogs in restaurants. I like dogs, but in places where food is served, no thanks.
2. German versions of ethnic foods. Yes, I know that people have to cater to the local market, but spice and I don’t mean heat from chillies is a good flavour, but it seems that this flavour isn’t the thing to do here. It’s a rare thing to find authentic ethnic restaurants and when you do, you tend to frequent them often as they are few and far between.
3. Manners. Personal space is a little known thing in this city. It does take some getting used to, be aware that people will push you out of the way if they think you’re walking too slowly, or in their way. If you keep to the right on pavements etc, it does make life easier if you follow that rule. But not always. If you’re trying to get on or off a train, bus, tram etc, letting people off first is a no no, or giving them enough space to get off and move away from the vehicle is frowned upon too. The idea is that you push your way to the entrance, then barge your way through those getting off, elbow other people out of the way and race to the spare seat. And little old ladies here aren’t harmless, they can be the worst offenders. Staring is another habit you’ve got to perfect, people here stare and they’re good at it. It’s nothing about you they’re staring at, so don’t take offense, it’s just a trait they have and you get used to it. Staring back usually puts a stop to it and then they’ll pull a face as if you’ve done something wrong, just shrug it off and smile at them, smiling confuses the locals. In fact smiling in itself is a rare thing, I think you are considered slightly mad if you smile, let alone laugh. So smiling at people can cause some great reactions and I recommend people should do it often for their own amusement.
4. Language. Yes, life is easier when you know it and no, I don’t think everyone should speak English, but it just doesn’t sound very pleasant and the grammar is very difficult to learn. Especially with the informal and formal you etc
5. Crazy driving. Driving in Germany can be a brave thing to do, though once you get the hang of it and lose any manners all should be fine. Driving the autobahns can be a challenge, if you dare overtake another car, be on the lookout for other cars speeding up behind you flashing their lights and then tailgating you, until you’ve moved back into the other lane. I think many drivers would prefer it if you just crashed into the car you’re overtaking, to get out of their way, rather than they use their brakes. Impatience at traffic lights is another matter, as soon as a light has gone green and the car in front hasn’t moved someone will hit their horn in annoyance at the 1.5 seconds wasted.
6. Lack of vegetables with meals. A knödel (dumpling) does not qualify as a vegetable, even if it is a potato one! And I’m not sure sauerkraut counts either, it may be cabbage and usually in large quantities, but after it’s been made sour, I wonder how many nutrients are left. A meal of meat and two veg, as is typical in the UK, seems to be unheard of here. You may get a side salad with your meal, but these are frequently drowned in vinaigrette or some other salad dressing, which makes them rather unpleasant to eat. I tend to find I can pick off the top bits of the salad, but by the bottom they’re soggy and unpalatable. Then again I do like, every so often, a schweinhaxe (pork knuckle with crackling) with bratkartoffel (oven roasted, sliced potatoes) or something similar, but please stick some peas with it or some other veg, it makes a pig feast feel slightly healthier!
7. Customer service. From shopworkers to waiters, customer service is a rare thing in Munich. You can often feel that you’re inconveniencing the employee by actually being there asking to pay for your shopping. It’s rare if there is a queue at the cash desk that another till will be opened, you just have to wait. Shelf stacking during opening hours makes navigating the aisles difficult, that’s if they’re stacking the shelves with stuff that’s run out, rather than with goods which are already there. And one mustn’t forget the restaurant and bar staff, it can be rare to get a smile from them, let alone service. You have to patient to get served, or even your order taken, then trying to get attention for another drink or the bill can be a challenge. Though if you go into a place knowing that these things take time, it’s not a problem, be patient and things will arrive, though in your server’s own time.

See I can’t even think of ten things about Munich that I dislike!